How to Stop Overthinking Every Text You Send

You typed it. Deleted it. Retyped it. Asked your friend for their opinion. Changed it again based on their feedback. Stared at it for another five minutes. Sound familiar?

Text anxiety is one of the most common struggles we hear about from our users. And honestly? It makes total sense. When you're communicating through text, you lose all the context clues you'd normally have in person—tone of voice, facial expressions, body language. All you have are words on a screen, and suddenly every word choice feels like it could make or break the entire connection.

Why We Overthink Texts

Let's get real about what's actually happening in your brain when you spiral over a text message.

The Stakes Feel Higher Than They Are

When you're into someone, your brain starts treating every interaction like a high-stakes negotiation. Will they think I'm too eager? Too distant? Too weird? Your anxiety brain is essentially running worst-case-scenario simulations 24/7.

You Can't Read Their Reaction

In person, if you say something awkward, you can immediately course-correct based on their response. With texting, you hit send and then... nothing. Just you and your thoughts. Sometimes for hours. This uncertainty is basically anxiety fuel.

You've Been Burned Before

If you've been ghosted, rejected, or had messages misinterpreted in the past, your brain is trying to protect you from that pain again. Unfortunately, it often does this by making you overthink everything to the point of paralysis.

Breaking the Cycle: Practical Strategies

Here's the good news: text anxiety is a skill issue, not a character flaw. And skills can be developed.

Set a "Send Deadline"

Give yourself a maximum of 60 seconds to compose and send a text. Set an actual timer if you need to. This prevents your perfectionist brain from taking over. The text doesn't need to be perfect—it needs to be human.

The 10-10-10 Rule

Before spiraling, ask yourself: Will this text matter in 10 minutes? 10 days? 10 months? Most of the texts we agonize over won't even be remembered a week from now.

Save the Screenshots for Later

Instead of sending screenshots to your group chat for analysis, try sitting with the uncertainty for a bit. The more you outsource your decision-making, the less you trust your own judgment.

Practice Makes Progress

This is exactly why we built the Practice Chat feature in Walkthrough. You can experiment with different approaches, see how conversations play out, and build confidence—all without any real-world consequences.

The Uncomfortable Truth

Here's something nobody tells you: being authentic in your texts means sometimes you'll come across weird, or eager, or not smooth. And that's actually fine. The right person won't be scared off by a slightly imperfect text.

The goal isn't to craft the perfect message every time. It's to communicate genuinely and let the other person respond to the real you—not some carefully curated version you think they want to see.

Ready to practice? The Walkthrough app lets you experiment in a zero-pressure environment before you text for real.